Top 105 Humorous Quotes-2 To Make Your Day | Quotefullife

Someone said that laughing is the best medicine, so you must be curing the world with your smile. You'll find these quotes really funny that'll get you laughing really hard.

So, we've gathered these quotes to help you see the funny or maybe positive side of several moments of our life in a humorous way and stay happy & healthy.

Humorous Quotes

1.     Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she's not coming back.

2.     Life is too short, smile while you still have teeth.

3.     I wake up when I can't hold my pee in any longer.

4.     I used to like my neighbors until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

5.     I wonder what happens when the doctor's wife eats an apple a day.

6.     I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.

7.     I'm Jealous Of My Parents. I'll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

8.     If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I'll tell you more.

9.     Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

10. Only 2 phrases can change a woman’s mood: “I Love You” & “SALE!!! 50% Off”.

If you’re enjoying these quotes, you'll surely like these Top 100 Humorous Quotes To Get You Laughing Until Your Belly Pain.

11. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

12. Man made money, but Money made man Mad.

13. Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed calls. Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!

14. I look at people sometimes and think. Really?? That's the sperm that won.

15. Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

16. Life is Short - Chat Fast!

17. I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

18. I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode.

19. Save water drink beer.

20. Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

If you’re enjoying these quotes, you’ll love our collection of smile quotes and sayings to boost your mood and make you happy.

21. Whoever says "Good Morning" on Mondays deserves to get slapped :)

22. Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

23. Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software, it's called #Monday, please fix it

24. God is really creative, I mean. just look at me.

25. When I'm a Pedestrian I Hate cars. When I'm Driving I Hate Pedestrians.

26. My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death.!!

27. Always wear cute pajamas to bed you'll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

28. People who exercise live longer, but what's the point when those extra years are spent at the gym.

29. Running away does not help you with your problems unless you are fat.

If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of these Quotes about Happiness of all time to make you happy.

30. Dear luck, can we be friends this year, please.

31. All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips...

32. Everything is funnier when you're supposed to be quiet.

33. The most powerful word other than I LOVE YOU is "Salary is Credited".

34. Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting the fact that you're going to die.

35. I love my six-pack so much; I protect it with a layer of fat.

36. The only thing I gained so far THIS YEAR is weight.

37. Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

38. Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.

Don’t forget to also read our collection of quotes on fake friends and people.

39. I am sure I have a defective iPhone; I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.

40. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. 

41. Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture :)

42. Flip a coin. If head comes, I am yours, if tail comes then you are mine.

43. I Like to study …. arithmetic, NO …. world history, NO …. chemistry, NO …. GIRLS, YES!!!

44. Accomplishing things before the microwave hits 00:00.

45. I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.

46. GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.

47. If the school has taught us anything, it's texting without looking.

You might also like these inspirational quotes on life.

48. If time does not wait for you, don't worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

49. Someone: I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

50. Everything sucks. Except for FOOD!!!! ¯\_()_/¯

51. Today's Relationships: You can touch each other but not each other's phones.

52. I can handle pain until it hurts.

53. The most emotional moment in a boy's life, when a girl says, can you give me your number :D

54. It's better to fail than to cheat but it's better to cheat than to repeat.

55. Please GOD if you can't make me slim, make my friends fat.

56. I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday.

You might also like these friendship quotes for your one and only bestie.

57. My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

58. For all the girls that say. All guys are the same. Who told you to try them ALL?

59. I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something :)

60. Girls work on their looks but not their minds bcoz they know boys are stupid, not blind.

61. Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. :)

62. Admit it, you listen to other strangers' conversations and mentally give your opinion.

63. Nothing is illegal until you get caught.

64. How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday :)

65. You can stay in my heart without paying a single penny.

Also, read these quotes about family to show your love.

66. God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China :)

67. Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status!

68. Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!

69. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

70. There are like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh

71. Boys are great, every girl should have one.

72. I’m not arguing, I’m simply trying to explain why I’m Right.

73. Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook and Insta.

74. Movies are shit, I started dancing at the vegetable market today and not one joined me.

75. In a dictionary, first comes divorce, then marriage

Don't forget to also check out these deep quotes that will make you think.

76.I believe in love and marriage but not necessarily with the same person.

77. Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a…………. woman :)

78. Money can't buy LOVE but can buy WOMAN to make LOVE.

79. Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<)

80. My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

81. Dear Lord, all I ask is for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't make a bad person.

82. I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, it's still not enough ;)

83. Some people should have multiple Insta IDs to go along with their multiple personalities.

If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of these inspiring quotes on education for students’ motivation.

84. Gravity always gets me down.

85. When I eventually met Mr Right, I had no idea that his first name was Always! 

86. I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.

87. Caution, Blind Man Driving.

88. I gotta go to work today because millions of people on welfare depend on me.

89. I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!

90. I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

91. How can I miss something I never had?

92. Friday is my second favorite F word.

Read these Albert Einstein's most inspiring, thoughtful, and deep quotations and sayings from a range of sources over the years.

93. If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

94. My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol

95. Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

96. Girls use photoshop to look beautiful. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

97. I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt. LOL.

98. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

99. Dear LOL and Humm, Thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say. :D 

100. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. 

101. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

102. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.

103. I can't clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find.

104. Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.

105. "FBI, Open the door!". Uh. no . it's cool when you break in.

You may also like these Quotes About Being Alone that'll help you to understand that loneliness is not being without the company of others but is being with ourselves that's "the best company".

Hope you enjoyed these quotes. Which one was your favorite one? Leave a comment to tell us in the comment section below, we’ll love to hear that.

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