Top 105 Humorous Quotes To Get You Laughing Until Your Belly Pain | Quotefullife
When we have so many things to control, sometimes the best thing to do is laugh. We can't change anything that's why the only thing we can change is the way we see everything. And one thing we can do is we can see things from a humorous perspective.
So, we've gathered these quotes to help you see the funny or maybe positive side of several moments of our life in a humorous way and stay happy.
- What i if told you.you the read first line wrong. same with the second. :p
- Hello, modeling agency? Yes! Umm. I just got 37 likes on my new profile pic, I think I'm ready to go pro.
- Laziness Is the Mother of All Bad Habits But Ultimately She Is A Mother And We Should Respect Her.
- When you`re stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate, and sweets. Why? Because `Stressed` spelled backwards is 'Desserts'.
- Never make the same mistake twice, there are so many new ones, try a different one each day.
- I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out!!!
- Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on YouTube and the music stops loading?
- There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note, “Don’t eat me.” Now there’s an empty plate and a note, don’t tell me what to do.
- Dear mom and dad, when I lie to you, it's for your own good.
- It's awkward when someone is wearing a skin-coloured shirt and you think they're naked.
- When everyone is laughing and you're like 'What just happened?
- Tried to lose weight. But it keeps finding me.
- The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born and only stops when we take the exam or are in love.
- I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos. :D
- People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean don’t they have thoughts?
- That moment when you say 'Goodbye!' to someone but you both walk off in the same direction.
- That awkward moment when you call your teacher mom...
- Clothes that are too dirty for the closet, but too clean for the laundry: Welcome to the chair.
- I don’t like to call it revenge… Returning the favor sounds nicer.
- It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world each day fit exactly the length of a newspaper!!
If you’re enjoying these quotes, you’ll love our collection of TOP 100 HUMOROUS QUOTES TO MAKE YOUR DAY.
If you’re enjoying these quotes, you’ll love our collection of smile quotes and sayings to boost your mood and make you happy.
21. Someone just called me normal… I have never been so insulted in my entire life!
22. I don't know why all little kids stare at me like I have done something wrong.
23. My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.
24. Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbor's wife, And beer as COLD as your own. :)
25. HEY YOU, yeah I'm talking to you, why the hell are you reading my status?
26. If "Da Vinci Code" has been written by a Punjabi author then its name would be "Vinci Da Code"!
27. "ugh I'm so full"." who wants dessert?". "MEEE!!!"
28. Just finished my 6-minute upper body workout-it was pretty easy: arm down, pick up food, arm up, put food in the mouth, switch arms.
29. Behind every successful man. There is a confused woman.
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of these Quotes about Happiness of all time to make you happy.
30. I know the door to your heart belongs to another, but I think I can slip in through the window.
31. LIKE if you can`t tell the difference between Coke & Pepsi.
32. When you drop your phone, your heart hits the ground before your phone does.
33. It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry :)
34. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. : p
35. Dear Sleep! I Know We Had Problems When I Was Younger! But NOW I Luvv you...
36. I don’t understand how I can struggle to wake up at 7 am Monday to Friday but am wide awake at 6:30 on Saturday and Sunday!
37. If Sunny Leone marries Sunny Deol, she will also become Sunny Deol.
38. We live in WTF generation - Wikipedia, Twitter, Facebook.
Don’t forget to also read our collection of quotes on fake friends and people.
39. Dear LOL and Hamm, Thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.
40. I remember when my old Nokia phone said I had low battery it meant that I had 2 days to find a charger. :')
41. When people don't laugh at my jokes, I just assume that they're not up to my level of comedy.
42. I follow the quote, "Always be true to yourself" because I only lie to others. :P :D
43. Give me food and a pc with an internet connection and you wouldn't hear about me for ages.
44. Dry fruits are just fruits that have become senior citizens.
45. The first sip of a hot beverage is always the scariest sip.
46. Please donate some money as I want to buy a new smartphone so that I can continue posting on the page on the go.
47. Excuse me! Ye lijiye aapki soch. Mujhe giri hui mili thi. :P (Excuse me! Please take your thinking, I found it fallen).
You might also like these inspirational quotes on life.
48. Someone on his story "Sleeping”. since 3 Days! He's Probably dead.
49. Sorry. I'm not Rihanna. I don't love the way you lie.
50. My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
51. HOW TO SOLVE MATHS: 1. Write down the problem. 2. CRY :P
52. I'm so poor I went to KFC today to lick people's fingers.
53. I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. :)
54. Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma?
55. When you are angry, your text speed increases by a ridiculous amount.
56. My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
You might also like these friendship quotes for your one and only bestie.
57. My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.
58. I hate when people say that you don’t need alcohol to have fun. Well, you don’t need running shoes to run but it helps.
59. After getting drunk, a Bachelor of Technology turns into a Master of Philosophy.
60. Old Saying … Think before you speak. New saying … GOOGLE, before you post.
61. Was feeling perfectly happy being single, until I saw a happy couple.
62. I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. :)
63. TODAY has been cancelled. Go back to BED:
64. Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
65. God made us all different. But when he got to China he got tired and thought. Fu*k it. Copy, paste, copy, paste.
Also, read these quotes about family to show your love.
66. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
67. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.
68. Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
69. At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
70. Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
71. Me: The world can`t end in 2013. Someone: Really? Why? Me: My snack bar doesn`t expire until 2013!
72. Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D
73. If she catches me staring, at least I will know she was looking back.
74. A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
Don't forget to also check out these deep quotes that will make you think.
75. When I hear myself eating crunchy food, I wonder if other people can hear it too.
76. When your GF blocks u on FB/IG. It's called an electronic divorce."
77. They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
78. I accused my friend of being gay yesterday. He was so angry he hit me with his purse.
79. Standing in the shower thinking, I really need a chair in here.
80. Save the earth, it's the only planet with beer🍻🍺.
81. Okay, can someone please invent the opposite of a microwave? I need my beer cold, now. And no, the freezer is not fast enough :)
82. I hate when my friends look great in large size clothes. and I always look like a bean bag.
83. Facebook and Instagram are like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything good in it.
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of these inspiring quotes on education for students’ motivation.
84. I love my ringtone so much, but when it rings in public, I get so fu*king embarrassed.
85. I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.
86. My girlfriend asked if I would swim across the ocean for her, and I said it’s freaking, I’ll rent a boat….
87. I accused my friend of being gay yesterday. He was so angry he hit me with his purse.
88. I really need 5 hours of Facebook and Insta. to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
89. That moment when even Caps Lock can’t express your anger.
90. Why girls are not in sports?? Only 4% are playing hockey, tennis and cricket. Bcoz . . . Other 96% are busy playing with boys.
91. Dear Fridge, I will be back in 35 minutes, please go shopping. Sincerely, Hungry as hell!
92. I`m not hungry. But I am bored. Therefore, I shall eat.
Read these Albert Einstein's most inspiring, thoughtful, and deep quotations and sayings from a range of sources over the years.
93. Dear food commercials, No one eats in slow motion with their eyes closed. Sincerely, normal people.
94. I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.
95. Only Marriage is the major cause of divorce.
96. I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.
97. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
98. The only reason god made cousins is so that parents can compare our marks.
99. Two most honest people in this world, drunk people and little kids…
101. I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box. I don't even know where the box is.
102. Tried to loose weight. But it keeps finding me.
103. Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.
104. A jealous woman does better research than FBI.
105. I can't clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find..
You may also like these Quotes About Being Alone that'll help you to understand that loneliness is not being without the company of others but is being with ourselves that's "the best company"
Hope you enjoyed these quotes. Which one was your favorite one? Leave a comment to tell us in the comment section below, we’ll love to hear that.
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